How do I become better at controlling emotions?

Everyone has a lot of emotions. I have tried to control my emotions, hoping that I can remain rational enough about changes in external things and try not to be disturbed by the words and actions of others. But later I discovered that it is better to regulate your own emotions than to control your emotions. After all, sometimes you have to vent your anger, and some negative emotions need to be adjusted to make yourself more calm. So below, I will talk about some of my views on negative emotions, hoping to help you. The first is the source of negative emotions:

  1. Excessive reflection on yourself, thinking that all social problems are your own problems.
  2. Beliefs do not match. For example, in our impression, the teacher should be polite, but if the teacher suddenly yells in class, this situation does not meet our psychological expectations, then anger will naturally emerge.
  3. Can our capabilities solve the immediate problems? If we can solve it, then we will show confidence. If we can’t solve it, we may show fear and fear.
  4. Regard enthusiasm as appreciation and coldness as dislike.
  5. Always adjust yourself to suit others.
  6. The positioning is too high in advance, resulting in very sensitive to negative social experience.
  7. Negative psychological expectations lead to excessive interpretation of other people’s behavior.
  8. Too perfect.

After understanding the source of negative emotions, there are some solutions.

  • Improve the ability to solve problems. As your abilities improve, when you encounter the same situation, your emotional state will change.
  • Establish a correct belief system. conscious. You have to be aware that you are in an emotional state and express your current emotions in your heart, rather than if you are angry, you have to mute in your heart: I am in an angry state now. At this time, your rational brain will work to prevent you from doing impulsive things.
  • Understand and find out the motivation. For example, you can ask yourself: Why am I angry? What do I want through anger? Is there a better way to get it?
  • Conversion. The transformation here is more about the transformation of speech, that is to say, to express one’s emotions in another way.
  • Analyze and control your own reaction to the emotions of others.
  • Learn to pay attention to yourself and improve your interpersonal communication mode.
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