What is something you just realized?

Many people are running away from their past without being aware of it or unwilling to admit it.
Before I realized the problem, I had been forced to be an optimist and firmly believed that the past had become a foregone conclusion, including emotions. But recently I found that this conclusion seems to be incorrect. Maybe looking directly at the sad past can make a person more complete.
I saw an example in a work by Christopher Meng.The protagonist of the story is a couple. This boy can’t stand his girlfriend making a mess of the bathroom every time. For example, she never remembers to put the toothbrush, cup and towel in the original place. At the beginning, the boy can calmly put forward suggestions to his girlfriend, but after a long time, it has become the fuse of two people’s quarrel. However, his girlfriend also hates that he spends too much time listening to music at night, because it will affect her sleep, leading to her getting up late the next day and not having time to clean up the bathroom. Because of this, they begin to quarrel and blame each other. Then, Christopher introduces their family background. 

The boy is not liked by his parents and has no voice at home,so he can’t stand being ignored again. And the girl lives in a very strict family education environment. Her parents will ask her to do all kinds of things, so he doesn’t want to be forced to do anything she doesn’t like. That’s the problem. Both of them don’t want to experience past emotions, so they choose to blame each other.

I think this is an interesting example. For me at least, I start to think about whether my bad childhood experiences are really affecting my daily life. Because before that, I always thought that as long as I don’t think about what happened in the past, it will not affect my present life. But in fact, the past will not pass away, and it is useless to escape. Only when you fully accept the unpleasant things that have happened can you not be controlled by your subconscious mind and repeat the previous experiences and feelings.

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