“Most men and women who have been married for more than seven years are pure friendship.”
“All my friends said,” you should be together. ” But I never thought about it. We thought it would ruin the friendship. Now it’s good. Once we want kiss or do something else, we both feel unbearable, and the feeling will change. “
“Many people tell me that” no matter how much love before marriage, it will be dull after marriage “, which is what the first commentator called” pure friendship “. In fact, I don’t believe in this evil. If I don’t love, I don’t love any more. There’s no such thing as “kinship.”
“I don’t believe there is pure friendship between men and women. Even if it is friendship, it was once attracted, but it did not succeed in converting into love. After a long time, it has become an ambiguous relationship between lovers and friendship. If they are true friends, they should keep a distance from each other when they have a partner. Avoid misunderstandings. “
“If you can’t be with the person you love, you can always love the person you’re with.”
According to Laura K. Guerrero and Alana M. Chavez, friendship between the opposite sex can be divided into Four types based on different individuals’ different understanding of friendship:
· Mutual romance: Both parties want to turn friendship into love and further development.
· Strictly platonic: Neither side wants to maintain a relationship other than friendship.
· Desires romance: We want to turn this friendship into love, but find that the other side of the opposite sex friendship does not.
· Rejects romance:The other side of the friendship wants to turn friendship into love, but we don’t.
In real life, Platonic heterosexual friendship is what we usually call “pure friendship”, which is very difficult to achieve.[Read: The brutle truth about relationships.]
It should be clear that when people make friends of the opposite sex, even if both parties do not like each other, subconsciously, they will take the opposite sex friends as their potential contacts. According to evolutionary psychology, friendship between men and women begins with attraction, which can be roughly divided into Four types:
· Subjective physical attraction – pure sexual attraction (just want to sleep).
· Objective physical attraction – evaluating the other person is objectively very attractive, but not the type you like (sleepy).
· Romantic attraction – you want to turn a friendship into a relationship between a boyfriend and a girlfriend.
· Friendship attraction – think the other person is suitable to be a friend and trust the other party.
In the early days of heterosexual friendship, the attraction between male and female friends tends to be subjective or objective, that is, they will subconsciously evaluate “this person I want to sleep” or “this person should be quite a lot of people want to sleep, but I don’t want to”.
With the deepening of the relationship between the two sides, the two sides in the friendship respect and love each other more and feel that they are deeply connected. The attraction of friends plays an important role in this process. Because the feeling that two people are deeply connected is increasingly strong, the attraction between the opposite sex will gradually reduce the impact on friendship. In many cases, both sides in this friendship relationship even think that it is an insult to develop this friendship into love, and that it is a kind of disrespect for each other.
Apart from the psychological explanation of platonic friendship, the Mismatched Emotional Needs of men and women are also the key factors hindering friendship.
If one feels that their feelings are Platonic, and the other is Desire, in order to clarify their own feelings or avoid destroying the friendship, one party in the friendship may choose to avoid or alienate the other party. At this moment, if there is no remedial measures, it may be the end of the friendship.[Read: The best way you show someone you love him/her.] If the two sides do not agree on the positioning of this friendship, then their previous feelings will never be pure friendship.
However, the feelings in the world are not black or white. In order to realize this kind of Platonic Friendship, it is necessary for both sides to clarify the definition and needs of each other for this relationship and to establish a good boundary.
“The most wonderful feeling should be friendship, lovers are not full. If you go beyond friendship, the consequences are irreversible, so be careful. “
“We have friends of the opposite sex who have been with each other for a long time, but we still don’t know what the nature of our friendship is. We often think that it’s better to end it, and it’s all over…”
“I don’t know why I feel there is a purpose for girls, boys are basically friendship.”
“It turned out that I was experiencing a pure platonic friendship.”